Back-to-School Emotions: How to Spot the Signs—and Help Your Child Feel Safe, Seen, and Supported

Back-to-school is a fresh start. It can also be a swirl of jitters, restless nights, and “I don’t want to go” mornings. Many kids won’t say “I’m anxious”—they’ll show it in little ways: tummy aches on school days, meltdowns after pickup, or quiet withdrawal at dinner. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. We’re here to help.

At Atracare, our Mental Health team supports children as young as 5 with one-on-one therapy and family sessions. We meet kids where they are—gently, practically, and without judgment—so home and school feel manageable again.


What this transition can feel like (and why)

New classrooms, routines, and social dynamics can be exciting and overwhelming at once. For some kids, uncertainty shows up as worry, clinginess, irritability, or physical complaints (like stomachaches) during school weeks. That’s a normal response to change—and it’s workable with the right supports.
Sources (for this section):
https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/The-Anxious-Child-047.aspx

Additional context used here: The CDC notes that while fears and worries are typical in childhood, persistent or extreme fear or sadness may signal anxiety or depression, and these conditions often co-occur.

If you’re concerned, the first step is to talk with your child’s primary care provider or a mental health specialist about getting an evaluation. CDC
Sources (for this section):

https://www.cdc.gov/children-mental-health/about/about-anxiety-and-depression-in-children.html


Behavior = communication: signs to watch

You don’t need a diagnosis to notice patterns. Keep an eye out for:

  • School avoidance or frequent “sick” mornings (especially Mondays)
  • Sleep changes: trouble falling asleep, nightmares, early waking
  • After-school meltdowns, irritability, or shutting down
  • Difficulties with focus, unfinished work, sudden perfectionism, or declining grades
  • Appetite changes, low energy, frequent headaches/stomachaches
  • These are common ways anxiety and stress show up during transitions.

Sources (for this section):
https://www.aafp.org/pubs/afp/issues/2022/1200/anxiety-disorders-children-adolescents.html
https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/The-Anxious-Child-047.aspx


Try this this week: small steps that make a real difference

1) Name what you see—without fixing it right away.
“New classes can feel big. I notice your stomach hurts on school mornings. I’m here with you.” Validation lowers the temperature so problem-solving can start.
Sources (for this tip):
https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/The-Anxious-Child-047.aspx

2) Rehearse the routine.
Do a quick morning dry-run: breakfast, backpack, shoes, out the door. Visit the school entrance or map the route. Predictability calms the nervous system.
Sources (for this tip):
https://www.aafp.org/pubs/afp/issues/2022/1200/anxiety-disorders-children-adolescents.html

3) Teach one simple calm-down skill.
Try “4-4-4 breathing” (inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4), wall push-ups, or a 30-second “name five things you see” game. Practice when calm so it’s ready when big feelings rise.
Sources (for this tip):
https://www.aafp.org/pubs/afp/issues/2022/1200/anxiety-disorders-children-adolescents.html

4) Guard sleep like it’s homework.
Consistent bed/wake times help mood, attention, and coping. Start winding down 30–60 minutes before lights-out (screens off, low lights, quiet activities).
Sources (for this tip):
https://www.aafp.org/pubs/afp/issues/2022/1200/anxiety-disorders-children-adolescents.html

5) Team up with school early.
Email the teacher or counselor with three things that help (e.g., quick check-in on arrival, a calm corner pass, a morning job like “door helper”).
Sources (for this tip):
https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/The-Anxious-Child-047.aspx

6) If you’re concerned, loop in your child’s clinician.
The CDC recommends making your first step a conversation with your child’s primary care provider or a mental health specialist to discuss an evaluation and next steps. CDC
Source (for this tip):
https://www.cdc.gov/children-mental-health/about/about-anxiety-and-depression-in-children.html


When mornings are hard: a gentle game plan

Try this four-step script if your child freezes at the door:

  • Connect: “I can see this is hard. I’m right here.”
  • Name + Normalize: “First weeks feel new and wobbly for lots of kids.”
  • Skill: “Let’s do three rounds of our 4-4-4 breathing together.”
  • Step: “We’ll walk to the classroom, say hi to Ms. R, and then I’ll give you a hug goodbye.”

(If separation is the sticking point, agree on a consistent goodbye routine—and stick with it. Consistency is kindness.)


If your child doesn’t want to talk

Some kids communicate in drawings, choices, or short scales. Try: “On a 0–10 meter, how spiky does school feel today?” Then ask, “What would help you move it down by one point?” Small choices (route to school, which snack, a fidget in the pocket) build control without pressure.


How long should you wait before getting help?

Reach out if worries or sadness persist two weeks or more, interfere with school or sleep, or if your child mentions hopelessness or self-harm. Early support is linked with better outcomes—and getting help early is an act of care, not alarm. The CDC also emphasizes starting with your child’s primary care provider or a mental health specialist to get an evaluation and discuss treatment options. CDC
Sources (for this section):
https://www.aafp.org/pubs/afp/issues/2022/1200/anxiety-disorders-children-adolescents.html
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3018839/
https://www.cdc.gov/children-mental-health/about/about-anxiety-and-depression-in-children.html


What to expect at Atracare (so it feels less scary)

A welcoming first visit. We start by listening. You’ll share what you’ve noticed; your child can share in their own words (or drawings, or play). We move at a pace that feels safe.

A plan you can actually use at home and school. Together, we’ll agree on a small set of strategies—what to practice, who to loop in at school, and how to handle tough mornings.

Care that fits your family. Some families prefer child-only sessions; others like family sessions. We offer both and can switch as needs change.

Coordination when needed. With your permission, we can collaborate with Atracare Pediatrics or Primary Care to keep support connected across your child’s care team.

Evidence-informed care. Depending on age and needs, care may include behavioral therapies (child therapy, family therapy, or both) and, when appropriate, discussion of medication as part of a thoughtful plan—approaches that align with CDC guidance on treatment for child anxiety and depression. CDC
Sources (for this section):
https://www.cdc.gov/children-mental-health/about/about-anxiety-and-depression-in-children.html


You don’t have to do this alone

If you’re noticing changes—or you just want a plan before small worries grow—our clinicians are ready to help. We see the whole child, and we partner with the whole family.

Atracare Mental Health — Get seen. Get better. Get on your way.

Safety note: If your child is at immediate risk of harming themselves or others, call 988(Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) or 911 right away.

Reference sources used in this article

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